In Loving Memory of Scott Paul Pearsall

After 35 years of living with cerebral palsy, earlier this year my cousin Scott made the decision to end his life. Although Scott ended his own life, it was the cruel insensitivity of other people who took so much of it from him. Despite his constant pain and the tremors shaking his body he spent his life helping others reduce the pain in their lives. If you were ill or feeling down and out you could always count on Scott to lift your spirits.

Scott’s cerebral palsy slowed his pace and speech but instead of learning from Scott about the value of a less rushed and a more reflective life people often gawked, taunted or rushed past him with a dismissive or disgusted glance that he was in their way. They never benefited from the gift that Scott’s wisdom, courage and loving life could have given them. So many people saw only Scott’s disability and not his caring heart, beautiful mind and loving soul. Scott lost his young life but the world lost a life that could have helped make it a much more loving place, just when the world seems to need it the most.

This month my family and I traveled to Honolulu to celebrate Scott’s life at his Hawaiian funeral ceremony. Scott has lived in Hawaii for the last decade in a beautiful house overlooking the coastline. This was my first time in Hawaii and my first time meeting the Hawaiian family my aunt, uncle and Scott have been adopted into. Eight of us traveled from the mainland but over 150 people came out to show Scott their love.

My uncle, Paul Pearsall, is an author and travels the world lecturing on the Hawaiian way of thinking and loving. He infuses his lectures with the halau, hula group. Along with the Hawaiian music and dance he is able to show others how to attain fulfillment in their lives. When the halau was informed of Scott’s death, they offered their talents at his ceremony. Scott’s celebration was filled with lots of music, photos, stories, food and of course hula. Although some of the songs were in Hawaiian, their meaning was understood through the halau’s movements. It was one of the most moving ceremonies I have ever attended. I truly feel Scott was able to feel the love for him during the ceremony. During the meal, all the halau members took the lau-a-ee (spelling?) leaves from their hair and draped them around Scott to encircle them with their love. It was an incredibly thoughtful gesture and one filed with deep love and respect. They called Scott the “child born into the darkness but became the child of the light.”

I hope Scott’s death can be a lesson to us all. You may think one stare or whisper directed at someone different than you may not have any effect. But when those stares and whispers are added up over a lifetime they can have devastating results. Please treat others with the respect and dignity you would want shown to you. Think about Scott often and remember your greatest lesson may come from a book with a faded or dented cover.

Mahalo - thank you